1.5K likes. If you don’t see how this practice is romanticizing the father-daughter relationship, think about the connotations of the terms we use. They abandoned me, our youngest son, and the dog. When we did go out as a family my husband gave all his attention to my daughter or eldest son, my youngest and I were ignored. My boys were happy, but my daughter, just 18 at the time, turned up her Veruca Salt on steroids! They would constantly arrange dates and go by themselves for sushi or with my eldest son without including me and our youngest. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Their mutual misunderstanding reinforces the mother’s new marriage, which the daughter may perceive as a betrayal of her father and her. Face it; it’s creepy. I had the two watch a video regarding the importance of the married couple being the center of the family as an example for what a strong marriage looks like for their children. We needed to be on the same page. Young women who recognize themselves in this story should not be trapped in the myth, Nancy Cater insists. The origin story of the complex begins with the title character and her brother, Orestes, exacting revenge on their mother, Clytemnestra, and stepfather, Aegisthus, who jointly participated in the murder of Electra’s father, Agamemnon. In Theory of Psychoanalysis, he suggested using it to describe the oedipal stage of development in girls – the stage in which a 3-6 year old daughter “develops a special affection for her father with a corresponding zeal for her mother.”. She formulates tasks, the solution of which will help to go beyond the limits of myth and become freer. A girl who lost her father at an early age and for many years unwittingly idealizes him. When the daughter becomes confused about her place in the relationship, this phenomenon is called the Electra Complex. The electra complex is a term taken from the field of psychoanalysis used to describe how, during a female's development (from infancy to around 10-11 years of age), the main thing that influences and affects her behaviour is essentially competition with her mother to win her father's attention. 2. View all posts by Christina Knowles, competition, daddy's little girl, dating your daughter, Electra complex, family, father daughter dance, fathers, inappropriate relationships, modeling good relationships, mother daughter competition, mother daughter relationships, princess, raising girls, relationships, teaching your daughter. Unfortunately, many psychologists disagree with this logic, and I think we intuitively know that. My mother has a colleague who has been suffering from the Electra complex for a very long time. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. What betrays a person who underestimates himself. She and my husband colluded together finding an apartment. Finding justice.org [http://findingjustice.org/father-daughter-dance-violates-the-law/], Author of the suspense novel, The Ezekiel Project and Signs of Life: A Memoir in Poems Most men would never say they were taking their son on a father-son date. In 1912, the concept of Electra would serve to illustrate girls’ early fixation on their parents. Please help. Anger plays an important role in the mourning process, and refusing to acknowledge it only prolongs the process. It becomes a trauma – for both mother and daughter. “If at first a positive fantasy about a father helps a woman by giving her a sense of hope,” explains Nancy Cater, “then over time she becomes destructive because she does not allow her to continue her life. The Oedipus complex refers to the love, or sometimes obsession, that boys feel for their mothers, and the Electra complex … If her domineering mother is successful in her career, the daughter may refuse to fulfill herself in the profession in order to avoid comparison with her mother. Your husband should be treating you like his special lady in front of your daughter, instead of the other way around. They are also spreading fabricated, ugly vitriolic stories about me to our family to justify the abandonment and divorce. Now before you get too offended, I know that the fathers who take their daughters to father-daughter dances and on “dates” have the best intentions. She has no energy left to follow her own destiny. The Oedipus complex comes from the Oedipus myth of Sophocles, from classical Greek mythology. Why the confusing romantic terminology when it comes to daughters? Compare detailed profiles, including free consultation options, locations, contact information, awards and education. Years pass, Orestes and Electra grow up and decide to avenge their father: Orestes, led by his sister, kills his mother and Egisthus. , And the Electra drama continues… last week, was her 15th year bday. I tried to get my husband into counseling, but he refused. You have to admit that the idea creeps you out a bit. Etc. Topic. Discover your femininity. She grew up “daddy’s daughter”, a favorite. My eldest son ran in, not looking me in the eyes hanging his head, “Dad is leaving you and I’m going with him.” and ran out. They laughed and ignored it and called me crazy. I’m sure any therapist worth their salt will recognize the issue here. +. The problem goes back to the days of ancient Greece. A daughter who continues to rebel against her mother even after her adolescence is over. He quickly was back at my side making my two boys very happy! Electra Complex. – An absorbing mother does not allow her daughter to grow, develop personally, or experience joy, creativity, freedom. Nina, I’m so sorry you are going through this. The definition given by Wikipedia describes this psychological phenomenon as “…the psychoanalytic theory that a female’s psychosexual development involves a sexual attachment to her father, and is analogous to a boy’s attachment to his mother that forms the basis of the Oedipus complex”. ” It is especially important that a negative maternal image breaks Electra’s connection with her feminine “I”, with her sexuality. There’s more like the porn I found him watching that he denied and ran away from me when I wanted to address. Boys expereince the Oedipus complex, and girls experience the Electra complex. 3. After putting up with 7 gruesome years of flat out hate and rejection from this kid that BTW looks and sounds like a 3D Xerox of her monster mama, after putting up with all the daddy daughter drama, this kiddo has the nerve to DEMAND that I do not come to her bday brunch… (Not that I had any presents to give her cuz all my choices were deamed laughable by her dad… “R U mad woman!? In the future, such a psychologically incestuous relationship with an ideal father can complicate her sexual relations with men. I’m assuming you’ve already told him how you feel. Girl's psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. Find top Electra, TX Divorce attorneys near you. My husband filed thinking I would after I confronted him with a separation over the weekend so he could think about the thirty years we were together and if our marriage and family environment meant as much to him as it did to me. 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